5 weeks of sem break has come and gone rather quickly and before I knew it, I'm going to kiss goodbye to my sem break as I will be going back to NTU tomorrow to resume my 2nd year of tertiary education. I foresee there will be little update for my blog during the semester given that university life will be occupying a large chunk of my time. Nevertheless, you are welcome to follow my Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/tiongchinlim/) to get the latest update on my university life.
As the 2nd semester of my 2nd year in NTU is about to begin in a couple of days, I'm feeling the weight of anxiety upon my shoulder. Besides finding ways (still an ongoing process) to correct my substandard academic performance, I also have to deal with my extracurricular activities (ECA). Despite having done some planning for the event that my division is organising this coming semester during the first week of my sem break, I'm still not too confident that things will be smooth going. Factors like my lack of leadership experience, poor social handling, my impulsive attitude when dealing with stress, poor stress management and etc cause me to be anxious about my ability to do well in my role as the project manager of HGC in NTU Heritage Club.
I guess the good (or bad) thing about taking up the position of project manager of HGC is that it exposes many of my weaknesses and how ill-adapted I am in dealing with people. While many pointed out that university a time for self development and growth, I'm not too optimistic that I am able to gain a lot from my university life because of my tendency to shy away (for a better use of word) from problems when I'm feeling stress. As much as I wish to become a better person through all these new (tough) experiences and while I understand the saying "no pain, no gain", I certainly did not expect so much pain in terms of self development when I agreed to take over the project manager position.
Sometimes I wonder whether things will be very different had my wish to study in my preferred university without using my parents' money come true. I am never going to be able to find out and so I guess it's pointless to even elaborate about this point. The only thing I want to say is that everytime I go back to Singapore, it feels like I'm using so much of my parents' money to experience hell.
On a slightly related note to the previous paragraph, a couple of days ago my dad gave me some parental talk about my situation in university. I guess he probably heard it from my mum to whom I confided in. I have to say my ears are deaf to his talk because he contributed no part in terms of paying for my education ever since my high school days. I'm not saying he's useless as a father but I feel being a dad you have to be the one holding a higher accountability for paying for your child's education and he certainly fails at that. One thing I would agree with him is that it's not fair to trouble my parents with my own problems and unhappiness in university life as I'm a grown up now. And so I promise to myself that I will keep the shit things in my university life to myself and confide in none to them anymore in the future.
I'm sorry if you feel you have wasted your time reading this little rambling of my miserable life. I've been wanting to rant about this since that parental talk by my dad. Anyway, do come back and visit my blog comes May because that will be my academic year end break lasting until the end of July. I'm sure (and hoping) that there will be lots of happier things happening (work, vacation, meet-up session and etc) during that holiday and I promise to try my best to write as many posts as possible during that period.
That's all for this time and god knows when will be my next update during the semester. Adiós!
Signing off,
TC
TC
No comments:
Post a Comment