Letter

Dear Tiong Chin,

I hope you're all right

It's starting to get more stressful in university. Mood swings are definitely going to be more frequent 

In spite of being back to where I thought I could have a better time, I feel more alone than ever 

The summer holidays was not what I envisioned it to be

The company that I cherish couldn't bring the same comfort to me and made me feel more alienated

I miss the Tiong Chin that was so ultra-focus during his A Levels

I miss the fact that he had something occupying his life that means almost everything to him

I envy those days where he could just focus on the studies

Not having to deal with family issues, bother about other things

I'm living the days trying to find something to be happy about

But nothing in my life now seems to bring real genuine happiness

I dislike talking on Skype with my family

To listen to mother talking about money issues with aunt

To bear with looking at my dad whom I did not feel love for

I envy my friends who have good results and are on exchange

I hated watching my friends enjoying life to the fullest

While I'm left feeling heart-wrenching on the things I feel I deserved

Things I believe I had worked for
But yet never came to me
I hate living life on deficit

Having to worry and concern if I have spend more than I should

I'm sorry that I am naive, stubborn and immature

I'm sorry for all the emotional outbursts that my friends endured

I just feel very lonely and unhappy

I know you, of all people, can understand this