Fade Away - Wei Xin

Greetings to all my faithful friends who still keep an eye on my blog. Here I'm back again with an updated post. Perhaps a second one will be coming right after I finish this post. It may take you only a short while to read these posts but for me,it will take a very long time just to finish these two posts. T_T Anyway, this post is about friendship but since the video above is the major source of inspiration,I thought it would only be appropriate for me to put the song's name as the title of this post. Before I get down to the topic,let me comment a little about this video: nice song and meaningful lyrics. =)

Back to the topic, after I listened to this song, one question linger in my mind: What's the definition of a close friend? Someone who accepts you for who you are? Someone who shares your view and interest? Someone who is there to support you when you need him/her? Someone who is your companion in life? Someone whom you share your personal secrets? Someone whom you have a great deal of trust in? Someone who respect your decision even though he/she may disagree with you sometimes? Someone who is patient with your flaws? Someone who is willing to sacrifice in some way for you?

Many answers flooded my mind. As I try to evaluate a single friend that could fit those criteria, I find difficulty in single out one particular person. I ask myself why. Perhaps I'm too naive thinking that I could have a friend who should fill all those criteria in order to be considered my close friend. Things seem to have change little by little as we step into adulthood. I wonder where is the oh-so-good feeling that I once had when I'm with my friends. The kind of friendship that used to blossom during the good times seems like fading away.

Everyone has a different perspective about how a close friend should be. For me, a close friend can never be too close. The closer you are with that particular friend, the higher the expectation you wish that friend should fulfill. And the higher the expectation you wish that friend should fulfill, the higher the disappointment you may feel towards him/her when the expectation is not met. Lets face it. Most of us are selfish in some way towards our close friend. We expect too much from them when we become too close with that friend. And when that particular friend fell short of our expectation, we will be like Oh he/she is not my closest friend after all. That kind of close friendship that we think we have always seem to betray us when things do not go our way.

A even more ironic situation is when a new friend emerge in our life and that particular friend seems to be able to fulfill some kind of expectation that we feel our 'old' close friend couldn't, some of us will start to think OH this new friend is a closer friend than our 'old' close friend. The thing that I feel stupid about this situation is sometimes we are too irrational to make a quick conclusion on who is our closest friend. We can be so dumb that we decide to put our 'new' close friend ahead of our 'old' close friend when the friendship we develop with that new friend is only just a short while. And even more pathetic is our 'old' close friend will start to feel we don't value the friendship we used to have anymore and that close friendship which last many years starts to fade away. In the end, we lose a close friend.

Well, as I typed all these things out, not only did I just reflect on the situation that I saw my friends had been in, I also reflect on my own situation. Those situation that I mentioned above seem to occur when we are still young and naive. And it is this kind of naive that causes us to be irrational when we handle our friendship with others. Look, what does it take for us when we consider someone to be our close friend? I believe it takes a long time to have that kind of friendship which we consider close and valuable. Someone will not be such a close friend to you for such a long time if he/she doesn't see you as soulmate. I also believe both party have taken a considerable amount of time and factors before consider each other as close friend.

Some might argue that our close friend has changed. They aren't the same person that we used to know anymore. Well, I will argue back that everyone changes,isn't it? Whether change in a good way or bad way, people still can change, and that includes ourselves. You may say that that close friend has changed and doesn't value the friendship like they used to be, but why don't you think about that you too might have change and doesn't value the friendship like they used to be as well? And that you are the one that gives up on your close friend when you realize he/she isn't the close friend you hope he/she to be?

All the things I mentioned above can be very subjective. As the saying things are on the eyes of the beholder goes, it's up to you to decide who's your close friend is and how that particular friend should portray the character of your close friend. What I'm trying to point out is do not give up easily on the many years of friendship that you and your friends have. It doesn't matter whether our close friend has changed or not for as long as you hold the key of faith to the friendship and you still appreciate for what your close friend HAD been, I believe that friendship will last if you and your friend are meant to be soulmate. BUT please bear in mind of this: Friend forever is yes,but not close friend is forever. LOLS

As I finished this post and reflect on my own mistake in treating the friendship situation, I not only erase the difficulty in evaluating my close friend, but I found more than one friend that can be considered my close friends. =)

To all my friends that appear in my life, you are the best the friend I could ever have. =)
TC.