没想到你是如此感性。=）

回忆起我如何放下那半年都不到的爱情，真觉得没什么大不了。

阅读了你的部落格，我开始觉得你是如此地感性。

从你的那些字里，我意识到你是多么地爱他，知道你正在很痛苦地放下那个三年的恋情。

我断然地觉得自己很侥幸。那半年都不到的爱情虽然对我来说算是轰轰烈烈，但是我可以很潇洒地放下。=)

虽然我是暗恋你，但是我和你纯粹只是片面之交的朋友。

但是你的感性不仅让我对你暗恋的欲望没有如此深了，而且让我更欣赏你。

The winner and the pretender

If you are a great winner,no one will be jealous of you,but admiring you instead. If you are the pretender and just appear to be better than most of the people when the fact is you only win in small occasion,no doubt people will be jealous of you because they think you are just too cocky and they too can be better than you.

It just seems that you are not so a great winner to them. People don't just despise you for your so-called achievement, people despises you for pretending you achieved something. Quit your insecurity of people's jealousy and stop finding excuses to convince yourself that people despises you because you are too perfect for them.

And,just in case you didn't notice,you should mirror yourself and probably you will find out that you are just the same as the others. There is a chance part of you are just as selfish and as jealous as you had mentioned. You are just jealous of others who are least successful but apparently more likeable than you. Thus,you go all the way defending yourself for not being accepted by others because they are just jealous of you.

Lastly,continue your effort to be a true winner that wins people's admiration. No one will take anything away from what you really achieved or contributed by simply being jealous.

A true winner wins people's admiration by action.
A pretender wins only jealousy by talking.

p.s. I do not intend to make myself look mighty or holly by just writing this post. I wrote this for you to reflect back on yourself. Everyone needs to reflect themselves at certain point in their life.

Come on,you are just like me,human. Selfish,jealous and disgusting as you mentioned. Yes, I am selfish,jealous and disgusting because I'm a human too. And you said human nature is selfish,jealous and disgusting. I guess you are selfish,jealous and as disgusting as those who criticized you. If you say you are not,good for you then. Perhaps I should look up to you as my prophet or maybe my next generation will be praying at your feet as the holly god.

You can say I should judge myself before judging and criticizing others. I learned my lessons and reflected myself in my life. I WAS a cocky and immature person and at the same time I AM cocky and immature. That's human. A human reflects himself/herself and changes but can never be perfect.

Lastly,there's no fucking need for me to win the whole world's heart to be with me against you by just simply writing this. I do not need to win people's heart,but I intend for people to follow my heart. If they do not accept my mistakes or attitude or opinions,fine for me. I accept their opinion.

BUT YOU? Trying your fucking best to win people's heart and at the same time criticize those who do not accept you and jealous of you by finding excuses for your flaws. People ONLY criticizes you for a reason. You don't get an echo if the wall doesn't reflect.

Seriously,if you could just ignore others' jealousy of you and reflect on your high and achievement in your life,you will be much happier. I believe there's always friends to share those high and joy with you. More importantly,you should really judge and reflect yourself. There's no need to be fuss over others' criticism of you if you are right by your own right. Why goes writing status and post to vent your frustrations of others' criticism of you? It just led people to know there's people who criticize you and MOST importantly, let those who criticized you to continue criticizing you.

p.s. Honestly,put the villain tag on me because I believe you had one yourself too. =)

Healthy Leisure Activities For Teenagers

Do you feel tired of studying at home? Do you feel confined in your room? Well, if the answer is yes, perhaps it is time for you to consider involving yourself in some leisure activities away from studying in your room. First and foremost, let me explain first what leisure activities are. Leisure activities are activities that can be carried out to relax ourselves during our free time. Generally, there are two types of leisure activities which are indoor and outdoor.

For those who prefer to relax themselves in a quiet environment, one might prefer indoor activities. There is an array of indoor activities that you can enjoy such as reading, stamp-collecting or learning to play a music instrument. As for those people who enjoy adventurous and exciting activities, outdoor activities suit you the best. Whenever you want an adrenaline push, you can just go for mountain-climbing or jungle-trekking with your pals. No matter it is indoor or outdoor activities, involving yourself in these healthy leisure activities surely could benefits you in many way.

One of the benefits that can be derived from involving yourself in healthy leisure activities is that time can be spent wisely. As the saying ‘time is gold’ goes, we know well that time which had lost can never be regained. Hence, every single second of your life should be well spent with meaningful activities. By involving in healthy leisure activities, you have spent your time in a worthwhile pursuit. Simple activity such as reading can do the trick for you. By reading, you are gaining new knowledge and information from this fast-paced world.

Besides that, social ills can be prevented as well if we involve ourselves in healthy leisure activities. Smoking, cyber-gaming and clubbing are example of unhealthy leisure activities that are fast picked up by teenagers today. These activities not only are a waste of time and money, but could also damage one’s dignity. As a teenager, we are the country’s future leader. Thus, we need to take our lifestyle seriously so that we are leading a healthy lifestyle. Involving in healthy leisure activities during free time is one way to lead a healthy lifestyle.

One of the reasons that I encourage you to be involved in healthy leisure activities is that we only need a few equipments to enable us to carry out these activities. For example, you only require a bicycle to enable you to cycle around the town to break a sweat. Cycling helps you to stay physically fit and keeps you healthy. On the other hand, we need only a small space to carry out these healthy leisure activities. Take basketball as example. All you need is just court with hoops. Basketball court can be found anywhere in the city as basketball is one of the famous sports in the country.

Another reason that healthy leisure activities should be encouraged among you is that you do not need to spend much to carry out these leisure activities. The costs incurred for pursuing these activities is very cheap. For example, if you like soccer, you only need to pay a small amount of money to buy a football. You could even share the costs to buy a football with your friend. After that, you could kick it around on the pitch with your friends for a long time. As compared to unhealthy activities such as cyber-gaming, a large amount of money can be wasted if one is active cyber gamer. Why choose to waste your money and time on these unhealthy activities instead of having fun enjoying healthy leisure activities?

In a nutshell, there are a lot of ways to spend your leisure time, but you have to make sure the way you spend it is a healthy one. So, I appeal to everyone of you here to spend your leisure time the way you like the best. Remember time is not to be wasted but to spend it well. Thank you very much.

Not-a-good-friend-to-be

Perhaps I've never been a good friend to anyone.

It's just a matter whether someone accept me as a friend or not.

I dun mean anything in anyone's life.

Why not take some time off to breathe?

It feels funny sometimes when I see some of my friends complaining about things happened in life. From the tonnes of homework to the teachers' unreasonably expectation,from the dissastification of some particular person to the complaining of he or she. I seriously can't understand and unable to feel what they are feeling right now.

I knew life hasn't been that wonderful this year. But somehow I really don't know how I am able to take everything that comes into my life so far. This year certainly doesn't feel the same way for me like 2009 or 2010. I feel I can really take on my life this year so much better than the previous 2 years. I couldn't have imagine this before 2011 actually began.

Perhaps pressure hasn't really got into me yet. Perhaps my life is simpler than others. But now,I just feel good about life. I don't complain anything that happened this year as often as last time. I just accept whatever comes into my life. I just follow the flow. I don't feel anything being the obstacle there in my life yet. That's cool.

To those friends who's been complaining hell heck this year has been so hectic and stressful,I sincerely hope you people can feel the same way as I feel about myself and this year. You all might say that I've been like a robot this year,working non-stop crazily. You all might say that my life is so simple or perhaps too dull. But hey! Try to look at this way,you guys and girls just want a simple life right? I am having a simple life,probably a little dull. Why don't you all just try to think simple? Just accept things that comes into your life. You can't expect a simple life when everyone of us is on the brink of being 17 years old or is already a seventeen years old teenager. Stop complaining about this and that. Life could have been simpler if you look at it in a different view.

p.s. ya I know some ppl might think I'm just like you all last time. Although I might be going back to the old me when pressure is getting into my head,but HEY! REMEMBER THIS! I've changed a lot more than before. Cheer and be happy for me. (This is so lame =.=)

You realized another dream of mine =)

Well,first post of the year. Ya pretty much busy with studies. But I couldn't leave this away from my blog. It meant so much for me.

I wonder what birthday means to everyone of you. For me,it feels very much just like another day. It din change until my 12th birthday. How silly it would be for me to remind myself what happened on the 31 January 2006. I wrote on my calender,I was unhappy because I don't have a birthday cake. LOLS

Into my 13th birthday,I still remember it's just another day,a Thursday. Because I was new in SBS and a couple of days into the school,that's no one who actually knows my birthday. Into my 14th birthday,perhaps I could remember this one better because in my memory,I dun remember be4 31 January 2008 there are any friends who's birthday wish actually kept in my memory,except this year in which I received lots of birthday wish from my schoolmates and friends. And I learned a new phrase,happy BELATED birthday,which comes from Jia Yi. HAHA...I din know ppl can still wish you happy BELATED birthday when your birthday had actually passed. LOLS

Into my 15th birthday. Ya this would of course sticked to my mind. My family celebrated my birthday. I dun quite remember which other birthday of mine that was celebrated by my family except this one. I feel happy. =D My sweet 16th birthday? Nothing memorable for me. It's just another day. How sad =( xD

I couldn't really understand the hapiness in which when I celebrated my birthday with my frenz. Because I din hold a birthday party be4 for myself. Well,I've been into some birthday party,for example Koon Thong's(twice),Soo Jean's and Wei Yee's(both once). It feels great to be in a birthday party. Everyone hang around together sharing the joy of celebrating one's birthday. I've been in some surprise birthday celebration as well. Like those friends suddenly turned out with a birthday cake and sing birthday song to you. Ya I had seen those birthday boy or girl celebrating their birthday with a cake and song from their friends.

I just never experience either one be4 at all. My family din hold a birthday party for me to invite friends,although there's once in which my mum offer me the chance but I declined. My schoolmates and friends during my primary life had never celebrate my b'day be4. During secondary life it's the same. Form 1 no one knows my birthday. Form 2 just birthday wishes from my friends on a particular friday. Form 3 my b'day fall on Saturday,no school. Form 4 same case.
HAHA,this person looks silly. LOLS

Well,ya...The silly person above realized one of my sort-of-childhood dream today. She bought me a birthday cake and held a surprise birthday celebration for me. =)

My heart can't really feel what's the feeling of a frenz holding a surprise birthday celebration for me,what's more this friend is the most important friend I ever have so far in my life. The feeling can't really sink in my heart that moment during recess because I was in a bit of rush during recess. Goin down to the koperasi to fotostat my class's new timetable,rushing down the canteen trying to get some food as I was hungry. I can't even realise that's a bunch of frenz waiting to give me a surprise birthday celebration as I zoomed past them to a store and order one plate of kuoy teow and fried rice.

That moment when I'm ready to pay for my kuoy teow and fried rice,my best buddy,Ming came and told me Sue Fen belanja me. I was a little confused as I dun rmb I had any bet with her about belanja me makan. I was a little hesitated and paid my kuoy teow and fried rice. Then she came,rushing to me and saying something like WOI SHIT YOU. I was still like a dumb ass n took my two plates of kuoy teow n fried rice and follow her to a table.

As I'm about to reach the table,I saw it. A bunch of friends surrounding a lighted birthday cake. It's a surprise birthday celebration for me from Sue Fen. I'm sorry because I was too surprised and the feeling can't sink into my heart as I'm in a busy state of mind. But off the celebration go. Birthday song from my friends,birthday wish.

Perhaps it's true I'm not good at expressing myself. Hopefully these words do the job for me:

I'm seriously touched. It's just great to have you realizing this little dream of mine,a birthday celebration from my friends. Perhaps you are the perfect person to realize this dream. I know both of us have such great memories in each other life. Although it seems in some way I don't mean much to you,but you mean so much for me. From the day we became close friends till now,no matter me and you were friend,couples or are soulmate,you never stop bringing memorable memories to my life. I'm happy to go through these precious time together with you. And still you are the most important friend and best soulmate of mine.

p.s. Perhaps I remembered I told you nowadays my heart is like so icy cold that I hardly able to shed a tears out my tears gland. The last time I really cried it was because of you. And yeah,you melted my heart successfully. I'm able to shed tears out of my tears gland,like finally. Those tears are so warm. I miss the day when we both cried together because of each other. =D

Thank you so much for the memories. I love you,Leong Sue Fen,a great friend of mine.

学记

不知不觉，我踏上了学记之路。一开始，我根本没心参加学记。只是因为前女友的缘故，我才答应珈杏学姐加入学记。过后与前女友分手了，她也缺席学记培训营，我就更加没心参加学记。去培训营，我的心态只是参加一个营吧了。在培训营，被骂到狗血淋头。根本不知道什么事，被骂到麻木。培训营就没多大的意义过去了。只领悟到自己已经是学记和多了一个身份。

培训营后，一直无心投入学记活动。缺席会议，没做好计划书。原因是因为我不享受太广的人际交流。而我也因学业的理由，不想添多一份责任。曾经想要退出学记，但同届与学姐的劝导下，我选择留下。虽然选择留下，不始终还是没有那颗心。

不知道为何，我参加了下乡营。这是学哥学姐们为我们24届办的最后一个营。在营里我当上了组长。我开始领悟到与学记们的生活。我也知道学哥学姐们对我的爱心。在营里面的坦诚相对与拥抱，我哭了。这是我在学记生涯里流的第一滴眼泪。

宝贝营的会议我根本没出席过，没什么准备就去当上了场地组工委。与同届学记并肩筹办一个营的经验印象深刻。大家一起努力地付出。大家互相帮忙、爱护及体谅。这个营也是我第一次为学记奉献自我。

全国营 。这个营我差一点就没去了。还记得，打给珈杏学姐告诉她我不想去。我听到了她对我失望的声音。她对我已经毫无办法了。但在她对我失望的同时，她没放弃我。与她半个小时的谈话，她改变了我的心态，也改写了我的学记生涯。参加了学记全国营，我的心结被打开了。学记在我生命里的定义也换了。

因为与家人去旅行，我没有去到成长营。所以我选择参加饥饿30营。在营里与学记们分享点点滴滴，是很美好的回忆。什么都不需要烦，尽情享受与他们聚集在一起的时光。我，更加爱我的学记战友。

培训营，我才第一次投入筹办活动。我回到我学记生涯领导我的同届麾下，也进入同一个组。我和依盈= 场地组。哈哈！筹办的过程中，我开始觉得内疚。之前的营，我根本没有为同届付出过。筹办的过程中，我也体验到学记之情，也更体会什么是奉献。培训营里，我找回了我所失去的回忆。看到学弟学妹被培训，想起了自己在被培训时是多幸福。哈哈！培训营结束后，我也卸任了。其实一点都不觉得什么，因为我的学记之心来的迟。一切都好像才开始。我的学记之路开始了新的旅程。

一言难尽，我想感谢各位学哥学姐。谢谢你们一直守护着我们24届，无时无刻都帮助我们。我也要特别感谢珈杏学姐。学姐挽救了我的学记生涯。
我也要感谢各位同届。谢谢你们带给我的回忆。我永远不忘你们。我爱你们！

学记，让我体验到什么是友情。学记，广大了我的世界。学记，改变了我。我爱学记！！！

Keeping my fingers crossed

To be honest,I have never think of what impact it will bring to me when I've got myself at the top. The moment I reached the top,I just felt relieved because it had taken me so long to get there and I'm happy and proud of myself.

But nonetheless,the road is not end yet and there's still a long way to go. And thanks to my friends' reminder,I knew I might be on the verge of being too cocky and stumble upon myself. Things tend to happen like this. When you reach the top,you are bound to fall. I've encountered this situation before and I knew exactly what's the feeling when you fall from graces.

No doubt that there will be additional pressure on myself to maintain the exact same level I've reached. I knew well it's no easy thing to maintain it,let alone improve it. And I knew well the reason I've able to reach that level is solely my hard work and perhaps lady luck being by my side that time,not because I'm at the same level with them.

I just have this gutty feelings that there will be people watching my progress. And when I fell short,there will be some sort of cheering monster inside the person's heart. Can't avoid this. No matter who you are,there will always people who dislike you.

Well,I can only keep my fingers crossed and hope I don't stumble upon pressure since I have a tendency to crack out of pressure. Let's pray for myself that what is goin to happen in 2011 won't be running too far from what had happened in 2010.

LTC,prove to yourself that you can succeed upon pressure. =)

Persistent or Persistence?

When I reflected all my previous post starting of this year, I began to wonder whether am I a persistent person or a person with persistence? I actually can't differentiate both words and went to checked out the dictationary to find out its meaning. I guess now I have some clue about its meanings.

Persistent...I guess this words always tag along with me whenever people talked about my personality. In fact everyone will very much agree with this. I am persistent,too persistent indeed. I quarrel with my non-chinese educated chinese friends because of my persistent personality. I can't suit myself in 4A early of the year because I'm very persistent that my classmates aren't the type of classmates which I could accept.

When I began to grow up(mentally) and became mature,I realised sometimes in certain case,being too persistent aint good at all. Being too persistent is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never get you anywhere. Literally,it gives me something to argue for but never win me any arguement. I'm very persistent in the view that chinese people should indeed learn BC or continue to learn BC. I'm very persistent about changing class early this year because I don't think I can fit into 4A. But when I became more mature and think more open,being too persistent on these two example get me nowhere. My persistent din influence others' thinking about the issue of chinese people learning chinese. My persistent din help me to settle quick into 4A and have a happy form 4 life early of this year.

In the end,I came to realise that I can't be that persistent because it gets me nowhere. But I guess persistence is one of my personality. Persistent and persistence is kind of synonyms. But it's not. It's the way how I think that made the difference between persistent and persistence. As I said,persistence is one of my personality. For me,being persistence means you believe in certain things that it's one of your belief. People said I might be too stress and concern about studies. They said studies aint everything. They said I should become more active in other things except studies. But for me,I still believe as a teenager and student,studies is everything. I studied hard. I believe studies give me a better future. I believe studies give me self-confidence so on and so forth. I don't care about people saying my life is dull because of studies,studies and studies. You see,persistence is my personality. And this persistence benefits me. I got good results because I worked for it. And I'm happy with it.

Perhaps in certain things people might feel I'm too persistent. But for me it's not persistent,but persistence. Well,in a nutshell,I guess being able to think more maturely help me to stay out of the persistent track. But persistence is the material that make up my track. And this persistence provides a platform for me to certain success. I'm just born as a person with persistence. And that's me,TC. =)

p.s. gosh I can't believe that when I think,there is something to blog about. But perhaps during school days all I could think of is studies and studies. That's y I dunno what to blog. Erm...is this persistent or persistence? haha...xD

Confidence = Arrogance?

You must be wondering where the heck I found inspiration to blog as I always said I dunno what to blog whenever someone asked me to update. Well you see, I came across an interesting conversation with a relatively not-so-closed-friend,let's put him/her as T. T said...erm...let's put this 2 person as G and L,who said I'm arrogant. Well,first thing came into my mind is ARH...I got something to blog about adi. And now,here's my update after so long.

Arrogance...to be honest I had basically put this topic aside long time ago. I thought probably I'd changed long time ago from an arrogant person to being a more humble person. Well,it seems that from the conversation I had with T,I found out there are still people who put me as an arrogant person. I'm not pissed off or anything beh song about people's comments about my personality. Everyone had their rights to comment about this. I wrote this update just to share my view of myself as an arrogant person in which G and L put as.

When I heard from T that G and L said I'm arrogant, of course first thing is I felt a bit errr...how to put tis...hurt? when I heard such comments by these two persons,in which one of them is one of my closest my friend. I began to wonder in what sense had I been arrogant lately. Then the first answer came into my mind is my recent final school examination results. The only thing that I feel I could be arrogant. To be honest,I really dunno in which other way people will feel that I'm arrogant at besides studies.

I guess I don't need to elaborate on my results since this post is written for my frens in which I think they will already got to know about my results. (I don't want people to think I'm showing off here about my results...I DIN MEAN THAT WAY!!! ==) Regarding about my results,of course I'm very much happy for myself. I guess some can noticed how cheerful I am when I'm talking. I just wonder is it because of this hapiness on my face,some people felt that I'm arrogant. First of all,I dun think I have go around everywhere telling others that I got a good results bla bla bla...like I scare no one know about my results. Second,ya I might be too excited when talking about exam results. Please do forgive me if my excitement has caused some of you to think I'm showing off and being arrogant.

As I said before,I always love to get good results because it gives me self-confidence. There's no doubt getting such a great results this time shot my self-confidence sky high. I dunno what's your view on studies and exam. But my personal view is that studies and exam give me a sense of confidence and a sense of respect from my friends in which I couldn't find it anywhere else from myself besides studies and exam. This is mainly because I knew I'm nothing good besides studies and exam. I'm bad-tempered. I'm not such good in sports like our Joshua Lee. My mouth also no need to talk adi. Well,mayb some of my frenz like Sue Fen and Sook Yi will agree that I'm more mature than last time. Guess this one is one of my pro? xD

I can't never deny that I am indeed an arrogant person...very arrogant last time. Let's give one example here. I remembered during last year sports days,I'm so confident until arrogant that I think I could take 4-5 events. One event,which is the 100m run,I'm so desperate to participate in because I think I can perform and get medal for this event. Well,there's a short story to tell here. One day,Desmond challenged me to run 100m with him. Ya,nth much to say because he won me,by kind of a big margin. AND I failed to even win a medal for this event. Well,this story taught me a lesson that even though I might be very confident in something,I need to control my confidence to a certain level in which it won't exceed the arrogance limits.

p.s. I can't believe I actually tell this story. IT'S SO EMBARASSING!!! =.="

Well,to be honest personally I had learned from this lesson. Even though I'm good in something,I have to be humble. Likewise,I'm good in studies and I really really learn to be humble. If you don't think I had become humble,at least I do feel I'm not that arrogant as last time gua?

Let's come into this question: is my confidence equal to arrogance? I can't really answer this question because everyone has a different definition of my confidence. Some may think I'm just being confident,some may think my confidence has exceed the limits in which it is equal to arrogance. What I can say is I don't hide my confidence. I won't be too humble until I shaked off my confidence. I show it. And if it makes me feel good about myself,I'm fine with the way I show my confidence to people because I don't think I'm being arrogant. I mean you see...when you are not confident,people encourage you to be confident of yourself. When you are confident,people said you are arrogant. LOLS

In a nutshell,I'm just being myself and confidence is part of me and something that I wanted. If in any way,I'm becoming too arrogant,please tell,remind and advice me. A person improved because of advises from his friends. Same goes to me. =)